Emotional Regulation in Early Years: How Children Learn Through Adults
- Mar 25
- 2 min read
Updated: Mar 26
WWelcome to a new episode of Eyes On Us, where Emma and Sophie explore how children develop emotional regulation and the important role adults play in that process.
In early years settings, there are moments when everything seems to happen at once. A child is upset, another needs support, something has gone wrong, and the pressure starts to build. In those moments, children are watching closely. Not just what is happening around them, but how the adults respond.
Children learn emotional regulation from the adults around them. Not through instruction, but through observation. While it is common to tell children to “use your words” or “calm down,” it is the way adults manage their own emotions, language, and responses that has the greatest impact.
Emotional regulation develops through relationships and co-regulation. Children learn what calm looks like by experiencing it through the adults around them. Every interaction during the day contributes to this, including how adults speak to one another and how they respond in unexpected situations.
In practice, this means moving away from trying to control children’s emotions. Children will feel frustration, sadness, and anger, and these emotions are a natural part of development. The role of the practitioner is to provide calm, consistent support and help children learn how to respond to those feelings.
Connection is more effective than correction. Lowering your voice, slowing your movements, and acknowledging how a child feels helps children feel seen and supported, while still maintaining clear boundaries.
Modelling plays a central role. When things go wrong, adults can show children how to respond — naming emotions, pausing, and working through situations calmly. These everyday moments help children understand that emotions are normal and manageable.
Adults are not always perfectly regulated, and that is part of the learning. Moments of stress can be used to model accountability, by acknowledging what happened, apologising, and showing how to repair interactions.
Reflecting on daily practice is an important part of this process. Identifying challenging moments, preparing for them, and working as a team can support both adults and children in developing stronger emotional regulation over time.